Lonely
by flacedice
Summary: Kimi-chan takes a look at his life and realizes how lonely he is. He finds the situation resolved in a rather unorthodox manner. Set before A Day With Watanuki.


Warnings: Some bad language but not much

AN: And here is more of the chan boys, set before A Day With Watanuki. It's placed in a universe that it a strange meld of Singapore and Japan. And for some strange reason I couldn't lengthen Doumeki and Watanuki's names from the nicknames I gave them in future episodes (shrugs) It's still them, though :D So here you are: the most nervous and high-strung of the Watanukis and the most demonstrative of the Doumekis :D

Lonely

It was evening. The sun had fallen behind the concrete skyline and the high-rise shadows covered heated pavement. The air had began to cool and the gentle breeze, a constant throughout the day, was noticeable refreshing.

Kimi had finished work half an hour ago. Having shed his business suit, he'd pulled on some casual clothes and exited the empty apartment. Taking the lift down to the lobby, he'd nodded politely to the familiar distant faces and made his way outside.

He'd then taken the memorized route to the small park several blocks away. One or two of the mothers were already there with small children. They would periodically come out during the cooler hours to let their children play.

Kimi sat down on his usual bench and leaned back, head flung back and eyes closed. The cool breeze ruffled his unruly short hair and he let out a slight sigh at the feel of a natural air flow. After a day stuck in an air conditioned office, it was a welcome change.

It had been a long day. And it didn't help that _he_ had shown up again.

Kimi lifted his head and let his eyes flutter open. A group of children were playing a complicated game involving a soccer ball and ran from lamp post to lamp post. Laughter and shouts rose against the background of starling calls and the air-conditioning unit of the nearby restaurant. Kimi smiled involuntarily as a little girl, held up by her arms by her mother, toddled across the pavement in her bid for exploration.

It was nice to see that other people existed. That it wasn't just a sea of indistinguishable faces. That people lived, laughed and loved. Even if he did not.

The game continued. Eventually one of the boys broke into tears as his attempts to tag the others were unsuccessful or ignored when achieved. The mothers closed in and soon most of the children were gone, picked up as other families came to rejoin them after work.

After they had gone, Kimi turned his gaze to the muddy flow of water that was the lifeblood of the quay. In the dimming light, it was a strange darkening colour, brightened by the reflection of coloured lighting from buildings on the other side of the river.

It wasn't until the lamps were the only source of illumination that Kimi finally stood and made his way slowly back to his apartment.

xXx

It was empty and cold.

Kimi slipped off his shoes, nudging them into precise alignment with his bare feet, and padded into the apartment. He placed his key card on the bench as he made his way into the kitchen.

Shiny chrome and spotless white surfaces met his gaze. Kimi absently reached out and adjusted the vase with its single purple and white magnolia as he reached into the cutlery draw. He moved it perhaps a few millimetres before turning his attention to the drawer's contents. After a few moments he had what he was after and laid the utensils on the bench.

He began pulling out pots from the cabinets tucked under the bench and finally crossed the small kitchen to open the fridge. In a short time he had a pot on the stove and was busy cutting fresh vegetables.

The moves were rote, easy and practised.

He was used to cooking for one.

xXx

"I need that report."

Kimi flinched at the sound of the voice. Not bothering to look up from his screen, he reached over to the neat pile on the corner of his desk and lifted the first folder. "Here." He held out the pale folder.

The light weight was lifted from his hand. "Thanks." The owner of the voice didn't seem to notice his cold behaviour.

Kimi didn't look up until the other man had turned and retreated from his desk. He watched the broad-shouldered back walk away with mixed feelings. He didn't know how he felt about the new employee but he wasn't comfortable with his presence.

Something about the intensity of that gold gaze gave made him feel inadequate. As if everything he did was measured and found lacking.

Kimi turned his gaze back to the screen. A new file had been transferred to his computer. He dove into the work, disregarding his discomfort.

xXx

Kimi glared at the photocopier. He'd just loaded the blasted thing, why wasn't it working properly? He was tempted to kick its rough plastic side. Sometimes a good kick worked when the best technological skills failed.

But he refrained. Kicking office equipment, satisfying as it may be, was not appropriate. Especially when someone might walk in and see him doing it any minute.

Instead he opened the loading tray and peered in at the contents. The ream was perfectly placed, not a single page out of alignment. Even so he lightly tapped the edges with a slender finger as if to ensure that they were all straight. All too often a single sheet being out of place could jam the whole thing.

Finally satisfied, he shut the drawer once more and stood up to examine the glowing display. The readings showed that it was now registering that the paper drawer had been refilled. But it still hadn't lost its stupid error message.

It was infuriating. He'd done everything to fix whatever could be wrong, ergo it should be working. It was enough to make his fingers twitch in an effort to restrain from pulling at his hair.

He hated it when things didn't work smoothly.

"Here." A hand reached past him, the body it belonged to an unsettling heat at his back.

Kimi froze. He hadn't even noticed the other man come into the room. Just how long had he been there?

Long fingers pressed buttons on the touch display. After a few muted beeps, the photocopier whirred to life and started picking up paper. Soon the machine was continuing the job, emitting sheets of neatly printed black on white.

Kimi nervously collected the still-warm sheets, all too aware of the close presence at his back. He glanced back nervously once they were safely gathered in his hands. "Is there something you wanted?"

Gold eyes considered him for a moment. "No."

It was unnerving. Clutching the photocopies to his chest, Kimi edged away and made a hasty retreat.

xXx

It was the same day in day out. Kimi would wake up in the empty apartment. He would make himself breakfast and then shower and get changed for work. At work he would keep his eyes glued on his computer screen, saving all his attention for the contracts that had to be drawn up by the end of the day.

The new employee would often pop up during the day. At the water cooler. In the hallway leading to the other offices. At his desk when he came to request some file or needed some task done. Kimihiro did what he had to and otherwise ignored him. The intense eyes that seemed to belie the man's expressionless face made him uneasy.

At the end of each day, Kimi would shut down his computer and tidied his desk to the state it had been when he had started that morning. Every item in its place, everything packed away that was unnecessary. In the growing noise among the other office workers, brought about by imminent departure, he was silent. Amid the plans for socializing after work, he would quietly pack his suitcase and leave.

He would then go home and get changed before going down to the park. Sometimes he would walk along the pathway next to the river. Not with any particular destination in mind. Simply to be moving and watch the flow of people that moved about on their own business. Couples, families, the stray old man or woman on their own.

It was routine and Kimi followed it day in day out.

xXx

One evening Kimi found himself aimlessly wandering up and down the quay filled with a strange restless feeling. It wasn't until he stopped in a small stretch near the water that he realized what he'd wanted. Some quiet to sort out his thoughts. He leaned on the rail along the water's edge and stared down onto the slowly shifting surface of the water below.

"They say that throwing a silver coin into the waters would grant someone their wish."

Kimi turned to see a sleek curvaceous woman lounging on the rail alongside him. She was wearing a tight pair of black pants that clung to the curve of her hips and flared out as they travelled down her legs. A skimpy midriff top barely covered her ample bust and revealed the lean plane of her pale stomach. Black threads of silk flittered round her like a shifting veil as the long fall of her hair fanned out from the ponytail that held it high on her head.

Somehow Kimi was not surprised to find her talking to him. It seemed part of the oddly intimate atmosphere of the night. As if the cool wind weaving through the lingering warmth in the air was teasing confidences out of people and allowing them to be shared without any embarrassment.

"Do you believe that?" It wasn't a question he'd usually ask but he did now and the opening for conversation seemed natural.

A face as pale as the bare stomach framed by pants and top turned towards him. The woman's wide mouth curved slightly and her dark eyes, their true colour indecipherable in the dim light, turned to him. "I think the question is if you believe it."

Kimi turned back to staring at the hazed reflection of the bright lights reflected on the river's surface. The silence between them was comfortable and suddenly Kimi didn't care that she was a complete stranger, was probably some drunken woman or even a lost tourist. She was there and he needed someone to talk to.

"Do you ever feel alone even when there are people around you?"

The woman leaned more comfortably on the rail. "I suspect that most people do at some point of time in their lives." The words weren't as dismissive as they would have been coming out of anybody else's mouth. Instead it was an invitation for him to continue. A confirmation that he wasn't alone in his plight.

A ripple of the tide flow moved through the river, hazing out the reflections in wide arcs of colour. "I've been alone all my life." Kimi found the words unspoken so long flowing easily from his mouth. "But I can't pretend anymore. I can't pretend that it doesn't matter. I want someone to share my life with. Someone who will stay with me and never let me be alone again."

A pale hand descended into his vision. A silver coin was held between slender fingers sporting nails painted glossy black, spangled with silver stars.

Kimi looked over at the woman. Her face was solemn as she held out the coin, with no trace of mockery. He slowly lifted his hand and took the coin from her cool grasp. He stared at the silver circle in his palm for a few moments then drew back his hand.

"I don't want to be lonely anymore." The coin was a silver moon as it turned and glittered in the air. It's smooth arc ended in the river where it cut smoothly through the water and sank with barely a ripple.

The woman smiled at him. She leaned forward and kissed him on the cheek. As she pulled back he was not surprised to smell a hint of alcohol on her breath. "Let's hope that your wish is granted Kimi-chan."

It wasn't until later as he was still staring at the muddy fluctuating water that he realized he had never given her his name.

xXx

It was sitting on his desk the next morning.

Kimi went to work the next day as if the strange events the night before had never occurred. He passed the familiar faces, made the usual polite conversation and made his way to his desk.

He had left his work station spotless as it usually was the day before. Each object in its proper place and the smooth surface of the desk clear of any clutter.

The folded piece of paper sitting precisely on the centre of his desk, therefore, caught his attention immediately.

With a frown, Kimi set his briefcase neatly on the floor next to the desk and picked up the paper. He unfolded it to reveal a simple line of text.

**I love you.**

Kimi sat abruptly in his chair, mouth dry as his heart suddenly sped up in his chest. A joke. It had to be a joke of some sort.

He looked around the office. No one was laughing at him. No one was even looking at him as far as he could tell.

He looked back down at the note. The message hadn't changed. **I love you.** Written in graceful calligraphy that was elegant and sincere.

The clatter of a pen being dropped on a desk made him jump. A woman a few desks over picked up a pen, a frown of irritation wrinkling her brow.

Kimi refolded the paper and hastily thrust it into his briefcase. A moment later he was turning on his computer and laying out what he'd need for the day on his desk.

But though the note was hidden from his sight, it was all too vivid in his mind.

xXx

"Oi!"

Kimi jumped at the utterance and glared at the source of the interruption.

"Are you alright?" A faint frown marked the man's brow.

"I'm fine." Under the desk, his hand clenched into a fist where it lay on his knee. "Did you want something?"

It had been more than a week since he had found the letter on his desk. He would have thought he'd imagined it if not for the very solid piece of paper that sat on the table in his apartment. He hadn't grasped why anyone had left it there and the strain of not knowing was beginning to show in his jumpy behaviour.

It didn't help that he had begun to feel eyes on him on a regular basis.

The other man didn't look like he was convinced. "I'd like to talk to you after work."

Kimi simply stared at him for a long moment. It was the last thing he had expected. And to be frank the last thing he wanted to deal with at the moment.

"I'm busy." He was getting a sudden unsettling feeling that he didn't want to be alone with the other man. He had an uneasy precognition that he wouldn't like what the other man would have to say.

An intense stare. "It will only take a few minutes." He turned and walked away before Kimi could refuse.

He stared blankly at his computer screen for a few minutes. Suddenly the day was looking too short.

xXx

The office had emptied and Kimi glanced nervously at his watch. Where was the man? It was true he hadn't agreed to the meeting in the first place but the least he could do was show up on time.

He shifted his briefcase from one hand to the other. He hadn't wanted the office to be empty at the time, either.

The office door opened and Shi Doumeki stepped in, closing the door behind him. Kimi stopped shifting the briefcase as he felt those gold eyes bore right through him as he walked passed the desks that separated them.

The other man stopped in front of him. "I love you."

It took several moments for the words to sink in, they had been said so baldly.

Kimi stared at him blankly. Was this some sort of joke? But no, those intense gold eyes were sincere as they focused so intently on him.

The letter.

"I don't know what you're talking about." He didn't want to. Kimi turned around and started to leave.

A warm pair of arms wrapped around him, drawing him back against a solid chest.

"What are you doing?!" It came out a bit more panicky than he would have liked.

"Holding you."

Kimi struggled against the arms but all he did was force them to close tighter around him. "Let me go!"

"No."

Kimi's heart pounded wildly in his chest. The coin. Somehow his stupid wish had attracted this stalker to him and he was going to end up with some horrible fate. Even now he was probably-

"Not until you listen to me."

Kimi's thoughts ground to a halt. His struggles stilled. Slowly the arms round his waist loosed and the slighter man found himself turned round to stare up into the stoic face of Shi Doumeki.

"I love you."

Somehow it was even more frightening the second time round. It was even more terrifying than 'I want you'.

"I don't know you. I don't even like you!" Any sense of control Kimi might have felt over the situation had well and truly flown out the window.

Shi didn't seem concerned about the declaration. "We've got plenty of time to get to know each other." He ignored the last protest. "I'm not going anywhere."

Kimi's blood boiled at the blithe disregard of his feelings in the matter. Now that he'd gotten over his fear of the situation, his anger was beginning to kick in. "Who said that I wanted to hang around with you, let alone get to know you? I don't know what sort of upbringing you were given but it isn't normal to STALK someone!"

The other man was unapologetic. "It's dangerous for you to walk around alone at night."

"You mean you _have_ been following me?!" Kimi's arms came up as if to shield himself from a physical attack. "What sort of sick reason would you have for doing that?!"

"I won't see you hurt." Gold eyes were narrowed into a fierce stare. "We're meant to be together. And I won't let anything get in the way."

"WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?! I DON'T EVEN LIKE YOU!"

"Not yet."

xXx

Kimi found himself in the strange situation of having an escort the next day. With his feelings declared, Shi seemed to think it was perfectly alright to move his stalking up to the next level by actually waiting for him outside his apartment and then walking him to work. Through out the day Kimi felt the other man's gaze on him and at lunch he found that the he was forced to accept a new eating companion.

Shi was determined to work his way into his soul mate's life.

It was driving Kimi crazy. He'd not wanted to be lonely, but he hadn't wanted this! He found himself looking for the long-haired woman who had given him the coin as he walked the city (Shi at his side).

Perhaps the worst thing of all was that he was beginning to get used to the other man's presence. The thought of it as a permanent thing scared him shitless, though, and he redoubled his efforts to get rid of the man.

Not that it was working.

No matter how much he yelled or ran (Shi had longer legs, damn it!) the other man remained glued to his side. Shi would simply block his ears when the shouting got too loud or grab him around the waist when he decided there had been enough running away for the day.

Like now.

"Let go of me!" Kimi hissed, keeping his voice low so that he wouldn't draw attention.

They were at one of the less populated areas along the river, one of the quiet stretches between the quays that served as social hubs. But there were still people walking along the pathway alongside the waterway and Kimi was mortified when he saw one or two glance over at the two of them as they passed.

Shi didn't say anything. He merely looped his long arms tighter around the smaller man, pulling him closer so that he could rest his chin on Kimi's shoulder.

Red-faced and breathing hard, Kimi stood stiffly in the embrace. He had learned that struggling furiously had no effect against the strength of those arms and his futile efforts only drew more attention. Until Shi decided to let him go he was effectively trapped.

For a long time, Shi seemed simply content to hold him close and stare out at the water. He had an unshakable conviction that the two of them were meant to be together, a belief that manifested in an unusual patience that led to such moments.

And Kimi hated that it seemed to be working. Faced with such silent determination, his outbursts simply flowed over the other man harmlessly. It tired him out and somehow he always ended up in some gentle hold, without the will or the ability to tear himself free.

He sighed, relaxing into the embrace resignedly.

"I see you two are getting on well."

Kimi jerked back into fury at the sound of the familiar voice. "You!" He pointed a furious finger at the woman lounging further along the rail.

The woman smiled. She wore much the same that she had that night, except that it was in bright red rather than black.

"You did this!" Shi had finally let go of him, opting to clasp his hand instead. Kimi pointed at the other man with his free hand.

Her smile widened. "Perhaps this isn't the right place to discuss this." Her eyes moved to glance at a couple who was staring at the strange confrontation.

Kimi followed her gaze and immediately clamped his mouth shut.

Burgundy eyes - and they were clearly burgundy the light of day - lidded. "We can continue this in my shop." And without waiting for an answer, she pushed off the rail and sauntered off, heading towards the line of shop fronts set further back from the river.

After a few minutes Kimi followed, Shi towed along by their joined hands.

Kimi didn't fight the contact. Soon he would sort this out and he could go back to the ways things were. It was lonely but at least it was what he knew.

xXx

As you all know that's not the case. The next events, which occurred in A Day With Watanuki, proved Kimi wrong ;D


End file.
